File Name: attached by levine and heller .zip
- Attached The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find and Keep Love
- Attached Summary
- Rule 1: Please read ALL the rules
- Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep-- Love
Author: Amir Levine , Rachel Heller. Narrator: Robert Petkoff. Unabridged: 7 hr 6 min. Format: Digital Audiobook.
Attached The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find and Keep Love
Heller been sitting on your reading list? Pick up the key ideas in the book with this quick summary. Have you ever wondered why you feel so uncomfortable when your relationship becomes too intimate? Or perhaps, you've been wondering why you have so many insecurities and anxieties when it comes to your relationships? Attached aims to provide answers to those very questions and more. Attached Key Idea 1: Attachment is a basic human need that everyone requires in order to live a healthy and happy life.
But what is it that causes this feeling? The distress of being away from our partner comes directly from our feelings of attachment for one another. But what exactly is attachment? On the basic level, attachment is a strong bond between two people which lasts over long periods of time and comes with a specific need to keep in contact with each other.
It could take the form of any bond, from a mother-child relationship, to a romantic relationship between two adults. Interestingly, forming these bonds comes with many benefits. This type of close personal relationship provides us with a secure emotional foundation, which then helps us remain calm, even in strenuous situations. This connection makes even the most distressing situations feel much less frightening.
This was verified in a study that aimed to find out more about the healing effects of attachment. Attached Key Idea 2: Our genes hold our basic need for attachment, but it is also influenced by our life experiences. Yet, in spite of this, we still love them and long for that love to be requited. But why? Where does attachment come from? This is so true that the minute we come out of the womb, we actually yearn for attachment. The desire for relationships stretches back all the way into our collective past, in which our ancestors learned that relying on each other was the only way to survive the hardships of life and the constant threat of predators.
The only people who were able to produce offspring were those who were able to find dependable partners, to whom they then passed on the genes what would help them to successfully find reliable mates.
On top of this, the genetic predisposition we have for attachment can be further influenced by our life experiences. How parents treat and raise their children can also mold their attitudes toward relationships as a concept. Attachment can be influenced by relationships we have later in life as well. Being in a hard romantic relationship as an adult is also able to influence your attitude toward relationships in general, thus causing later relationships to suffer.
Now, you know where our need for relationships comes from. In the following book summary will demonstrate how our differing needs for relationships can inform our overall behavior in life. Attached Key Idea 3: Those who have an anxious attachment style require intimacy and have a tendency to worry about their relationships. These general differences help us to categorize the various types of people since our attachment styles can predict our behavior in certain romantic situations.
However, what if instead of her happily answering the phone, you simply hear the dial tone because she rejected your call.
Might your partner behave this way? Dating someone with a secure attachment style — someone who is comfortable with intimacy more on this in a later book summary — will make you feel deeply loved and understood. Attached Key Idea 4: When a person has an avoidant attachment style, they tend to crave independence in a relationship.
Imagine being in a relationship in which you feel totally confined: your partner seems too needy, leading you to be unable to understand why they need so badly to completely depend on one person.
Does this sound familiar to you? If so, then you probably have an avoidant attachment style. An avoidant person is one who tries to maintain their autonomy while in a relationship. People who have this attachment style try not to get too close to people, fearing that doing so might mean a loss of independence.
Often, these people struggle to recognize the feelings of others, making it quite difficult to maintain relationships. People with an avoidant attachment style do have this need as well, but they simply express it differently. Avoidants tend to do things like finding little characteristics about their partners that irritate them, from the way they slurp their coffee to their high-pitched sneeze.
The good news is, this can be avoided, as long as avoidants are willing to practice this positivity. They need to work to picture their partner in a more positive way, instead of a source for their distress. These people are real, and they exhibit a secure attachment style. People with a secure attachment style are able to be in relationships in which they feel comfortable with closeness and intimacy. The reality is, being in a relationship with a secure partner is the best predictor for a happy and successful relationship.
Based on the benefits that come from the secure attachment style, it only makes sense that there are hardly any problems when it comes to relationships between two people with a secure attachment style. Imagine, for example, sitting at your desk, knowing that you still have heaps of work to finish and not enough time left to complete it. As you start to grow more anxious about this, your partner enters the room. These final book summaries will demonstrate how to use this information to create a happy relationship.
No two relationships are ever the same. Each one comes with its own strengths and weaknesses. So, what can you do to guarantee happiness in your relationship?
No matter what your attachment style is, the solution is simple: effective communication. Truly, in any relationship, making sure that you directly express your needs and concerns will make for a much easier time figuring out whether a potential partner is right for you. However, instead of letting this situation get the best of your anxiety, it might simply be best to bring up the topic with your partner instead.
I need to know that you are happy with our relationship. Attached Key Idea 7: Being able to effectively deal with conflicts will allow your relationship to work. Unfortunately, conflict is part of any relationship. But did you know that actually fighting with your partner might make you happier? In this example, you might be able to find a destination that would allow you to have your relaxing beach day, as well as allowing you two to partake in something more active, such as sightseeing.
In the end, everyone benefits from solving the conflict. When someone who requires closeness falls for someone who has avoidant tendencies, the relationship will likely resemble a roller coaster ride. This means that their differing attitudes when it comes to intimacy will put a lot of stress on the whole relationship, as these attitudes often effect the big questions, like whether or not to get married or have children.
Anxious people often want these, while avoidant people may not. Truly, the real secret behind a happy relationship is to find a partner who is able to meet your needs. Knowing what your partner needs in a relationship, and letting her know what you need, are the most important things!
Actionable advice: If you have a problem with your partner, tell them! This can put an enormous strain on your relationship! Instead, communicate to your partner about the moments that make you unhappy without allowing other, unrelated issues to cloud to conversation. This will allow you to both work out a solution. Try to figure out your own attachment style. Being able to pinpoint your attachment style will help you to better identify both your needs and a way to communicate those needs so that you can find a partner who is able to fulfill them.
This book is grounded in science and works to closely examine love itself, as well as how, why, and who we end up loving.
Audible Premium Plus. Cancel anytime. People in relationships with avoidants struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. By: Jeb Kinnison. From our earliest years, teaches Diane Poole Heller, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our intimate relationships, with our children, and at work. And traumatic events can deeply affect that core relational blueprint.
Heller, Amir Levine 1 New Science Of Adult Attachment And How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love Read and Download Ebook [[PDF]] Attached: The.
Rule 1: Please read ALL the rules
Search this site. In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep-- Love
Start growing! Boost your life and career with the best book summaries. Yet again, we feel betrayed for being taught to live in a way that is proven to be fruitless. Only wise people adhere to beneficial and healthy bonds and reject those who cause them pain and sorrow. In the same manner, you are given a choice — only your mindset stands in the way between you and your other half.
Visit Our Website 2. Choose Download Or Read Online 3. In this groundbreaking audiobook, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory the most advanced relationship science in existence today - can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.
Read in: 4 minutes Favorite quote from the author:. Love and science. A complicated mix of topics. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller outline in Attached seems very reasonable and makes a lot of sense. Attached investigates why we as humans have the desire to connect deeply with other humans, for example through a mother-child or romantic relationship. Here are 3 great lessons about attachment and what it indicates to help you improve your relationships:.
Heller been sitting on your reading list? Pick up the key ideas in the book with this quick summary. Have you ever wondered why you feel so uncomfortable when your relationship becomes too intimate?